About

I go by Edo (system name, friends call me that), Jay Winterford (left hemisphere headmate’s name, also used as “business” name), and Sylvee (right hemisphere headmate’s name). I’ve previously gone by the names of Jane, and Fluttershy.

I want all beings to be free of suffering. I’m unsure if I can be one of the few core people to help with that, though. I’m currently pretty broken and need to heal a lot before I’d be able to, and I’m fundamentally unsure how healing works and how much of it is even possible. I suspect it depends on a given person’s psychology. My view is that I should keep trying to heal, even if I don’t think I can, while mostly staying out of the way in case I’m just lying to myself about my ability to heal.

One of the premises of this blog is that basically everyone is broken enough that they can’t do real work on saving the world, and that if it’s possible to remedy this, then this should be a person’s first priority. Of course material conditions matter to mental health too.

About me–I was really full of life as a kid, more than anyone I’d met at that time, and that lasted until I was 19, when a professor convinced me that free will was fake. I stopped being able to see an intense, pervasive, and healing beauty in nature and in life, somehow. I quickly got involved in effective altruism and lesswrong, because they promised to give me the tools to save the world, but they turned out to be abusive cults. The best single document of them being cults that I know of is here. I was psychologically damaged even more as a result, and so now I’m here, trying to heal, and trying to figure out how to save the world mostly on my own, since everyone involved with effective altruism is complicit in supporting a social club that systematically looks out for the interests of rapists and abusers.

I know one day, that all beings shall be free.

contact: jay dot winterford at gmail